Here is how you know you were born to be a leader:
1) You do not accept negative self-talk. I’ve talked about this before in my other blogs and how negative talk deeply affects the outcome of a wellness journey. The same goes for being a boss lady. Complainers, body-shamers and “poor me” women are not meant to be leaders. This is an unfortunate sickness in our culture and something that desperately needs to be brought into the light. Another form of negative self-talk is repetitive swearing. If swearing is a part of your regular vocabulary, cut that crap out! And don’t worry, I’m not judging; I struggle with this too! However, a potty mouth is a sign of a lack of education. The sad thing is, you may very well be smart and highly educated. However, if the F-bomb is your go-to descriptive word, you come off stupid. Strive for sophistication. Don’t play the victim. Rise above your circumstances and always try to find two positives to any negative situation.
2) You seek out women who are ethical, reputable and motivating. Every strong woman has an even stronger mentor. As women, we all desire to be the best version of ourselves. Therefore, it should be your personal mission to surround myself with highly intelligent, wise, savvy women. Women are like a wolf pack. We need other fierce, competitive, hungry women to do life with. We need women who make us want to be better! Life is too short for wacka-doodles. (My new favorite word coined by Melanie) Don’t waste your time on women who are conniving, insecure, unethical and refuse to ditch the party scene. It’s also important to seek out women who are older. Most of the women I look up to are 20, 30 or even 40 years older than me. And guess what! A lot of these women are my best girlfriends. Wisdom and friendship do not have an age requirement. In order to obtain street smarts, business success and proper spiritual guidance, it’s crucial to surround yourself with women who have been there and done that. AND… don’t forget to seek out women who truly have your back. They are hard to find!
3) Your happiness does not center on your boyfriend or spouse…. or your children…
Strong, independent women do not need a man to make them happy. A boyfriend and/or a marriage should be a wonderful addition to blessings you already have; not the focal point for your happiness. I can’t stand when people say, “Life is short. Do what makes you happy.” or “All I want is a man that makes me happy.” or “You better leave him if he doesn’t make you happy.” STOP IT! That is so unrealistic. A healthy marriage is meant to be a reflection the Gospel. What is the Gospel in a nutshell? Answer: God sacrificing for you and showing you grace when you least deserve it. Sacrifice is hard work. Yes, it can definitely make you happy, but the main point is this: It’s not about you!
Now mamas: I get it. Your baby is the cutest thing in the world. It’s probably the most amazing miracle you’re ever going to witness in your life. I hope someday I can be a mom too. (I think) however, one of my greatest fears is that my baby will be the source of my happiness. I never EVER want to put my child before my husband. I don’t want to lose my girlfriends or my social life or my healthy lifestyle or my hobbies or my freaking sleep! (I guess I’m not ready) Babies are a huge sacrifice, and from what I’ve been told, they are totally worth it! But I’m telling you: If your baby is your world, you’re going to lose your identity.
4) You speak truth in love
This is a tough one! (Especially if you try to avoid controversy, like me) Speaking truth in love is a crucial component to being a well-equipped leader. You cannot be afraid to have the hard conversations. Now, there’s three very wrong ways to go about addressing an issue: 1) Pride. All you want is to be heard and get your point across. 2) Passive-Aggressive: An indirect expression of hostility. 3) Avoiding the issue all together. A strong woman is not afraid to be bold, but will coat her language with gentleness, kindness and respect. She will allow the other person to be heard, she will be direct with her purpose for the confrontation and she will meet with the person –face to face- to hash things out. She doesn’t gossip. She doesn’t demean and she certainly doesn’t apologize for an issue that needs to be brought into the light. And most importantly, she prays before entering into a potentially heated conversation. This –in my opinion- is the most important characteristic of the Alpha female.
Thanks for reading friends!